Top Ten...Signals that You've just been Screwed

1. 'Thanks buddy' - this coming from a guy who ignores you and walks in the opposite direction if he sees you on weekends
2. 'You're a star' - as in don't you dare try to shine during the daytime when I intend to steal all your glory
3. 'You're a machine' - or you'd better work like one if you want any hope of leaving tonight
4. 'This shouldn't take you long' - it will, but i just want to make you feel like you're weak if you dare say otherwise
5. 'Gonna be burning the midnight oil eh?' - I think you're stupid enough to feel cool about staying late if I say it in a tone that suggests you're about to screw Jessica Alba
6. 'If you need to reach me, try to call this number. There's no reception at my cottage' - Don't bother me this weekend. I don't care if it's your second day and you cant read my chicken scratch. Finish your shit for the Monday morning meeting or I'll throw you under the bus.
7. 'I will fax some comments.' - It might take me one hour, it might take me five, but make sure you stay at your desk and wait until i do.
8. 'Just a quick one-pager' - EVERYTHING starts out as a quick one pager. And just like the mold on an infected mushroom, it's never too long before it grows and multiples ten times over.
9. 'I am going to be on a flight all day' - You will have to deal with this sh+t all day and get thrown under a bus as soon as I land.
10. 'Don't worry, 'Insert Bank' will take the pen on this' -You have been tricked into crossing it off your to do list, giving you the illusion of more time. My paranoia will never allow it.