Dear Mr. Disgruntled Analyst,
I am interested in the position for the 2008 summer Investment Banking Analyst program for the Institution – he forgot a period and is writing in a font other than Arial...but who’s keeping track?
I am currently at 'Hoity Toity' University finishing my third year in the Bachelor of Commerce Co-op Program and will graduate with a major in finance in May 2009. False assumption of graduation.
I am currently looking for a challenging and dynamic environment to widen my career internationally. Hmm...Excel is the same everywhere no? Ignorant bugger. I am extremely dedicated, hard working and motivated. I enjoy taking responsibility. Excellent person to throw under the bus. I am a team player. I also have well developed leadership and communication skills. Perfect, I'm sure the computer screen will appreciate your scintillating conversational skills.
I believe these attributes make me an ideal candidate for your firm. Lazy. Repeat the name jerk. Don't make mass emailing convenient. I would appreciate the opportunity to work with your team. Sucker. The team is you. Thank you for considering my application. If I may, I will contact your assistant in the next few days to discuss how I could contribute to your organization for next summer. Penny will be delighted not to have to bind books this summer.
I am interested in the position for the 2008 summer Investment Banking Analyst program for the Institution – he forgot a period and is writing in a font other than Arial...but who’s keeping track?
I am currently at 'Hoity Toity' University finishing my third year in the Bachelor of Commerce Co-op Program and will graduate with a major in finance in May 2009. False assumption of graduation.
I am currently looking for a challenging and dynamic environment to widen my career internationally. Hmm...Excel is the same everywhere no? Ignorant bugger. I am extremely dedicated, hard working and motivated. I enjoy taking responsibility. Excellent person to throw under the bus. I am a team player. I also have well developed leadership and communication skills. Perfect, I'm sure the computer screen will appreciate your scintillating conversational skills.
I believe these attributes make me an ideal candidate for your firm. Lazy. Repeat the name jerk. Don't make mass emailing convenient. I would appreciate the opportunity to work with your team. Sucker. The team is you. Thank you for considering my application. If I may, I will contact your assistant in the next few days to discuss how I could contribute to your organization for next summer. Penny will be delighted not to have to bind books this summer.
Sincerely,
Masochistic Eager Beaver Can't wait to break you.
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