The Others: Our daily dose of reality

We hate them. They get to go home as soon as their shift is over. None of this "Do you have capacity" business. They MUST be lazy. Yes...yes...

Desktop Support

Desktop Support should mean 2 things to you:

1) The top of your desk: Where you eat, sleep and make merry.

2) The people the Associate will not allow you to talk to.

He refers to it as Quality Control. You know it as Bullsh+t.

These are the guys that are hired to help with all the formatting and other such non finance tasks. But you try telling a normal human being that they have to reformat an entire 99 page document so that every footer is bold instead of italicized. It is much easier to bully an Analyst in these situations. Just randomly hum something that sounds vaguely like Review or Bonus.

If you are privy to their inner workings, you will discover their best talent. They are incredibly efficient in locating all the freebie snacks and goodies!! If ever there should be birthday cookies or lunch meeting residues on another floor, you can be sure to hear one of them sound off the 'free food' alarm as they all rampage towards the remains.

Cleaning Crew

The cleaning crew passes every night around 11 o’clock and makes the absurdity of our lack of work life balance most apparent. They usually clean around us as if we were inanimate objects and not people, just extensions of the computers. This is understandable I guess, as analysts can always be found at their desks with their eyes glazed over, barely exhibiting any sign of life, apart from their fingers typing away furiously– surrounded by a mess of empty takeout boxes, cans of red bull, and hundreds of marked up pages^[1] strewn all over the floor.

^[1]

Seniors love to take the latest draft of a presentation and make as many markings on each page as they possibly can. Sometimes, god bless their souls, they will give you two versions with conflicting mark-ups at the same time, just to fuk with you.