9:18 am - Show up 18 minutes late for work and drop today's coat over Monday's on my chair (I leave Monday's there all week to throw people off when I sneak out)
9:22 am - Now that I've touched home base I head downstairs to buy a bagel (double-toasted with peanut butter on both sides) for breakfast
9:35 am - Arrive back at my desk to enjoy my hard-earned breakfast in front of the online version of the Globe and Mail (sports page obviously)
10:00 am - Check last night's email traffic for pending assignments
10:04 am - Nothing that I can't put off until this afternoon so I check a few job sites for my next career (something with similar money and no responsibility would be nice)
11:15 am - No luck on the job front so I start rounding up support for lunch (consecutive emails to three distinct colleagues based on 33% probability of a +ive response)
11:30 am - No luck in round one... Going to back up picks
11:45 am – Round two is promising. Duck out for an early lunch with the firm's other slackers - Monday coat left on chair to confuse
1:00 pm - Back just in time for a meeting that I nearly fall asleep in... Disengaged I think is what they call it...
1:48 pm - Meeting concludes so I'm back at my desk to work on last night's request... Earmark 7pm to 8pm tonight to work on deliverables that fell out of meeting
2:15 pm - Proudly deliver my half-hearted attempt at work to the VP who requested it last night... Time to day dream about someone other than my girlfriend
3:58 pm - Interrupted by an email from my 'actual' girlfriend asking if I'm busy - Of course I am
5:37 pm - Grab today's coat and head for the exit so that I can be home early enough to enjoy my girlfriend's newest chicken recipe
7:13 pm - Lie in front of television to watch men perform athletic feats that I couldn't accomplish against a group of 8-year olds
11:30 pm - Wake up on the couch in a pile of my own drool, turn the television off and head up to bed
11:31 pm - Cry myself to sleep and pray for the sweet release of death - Why did I buy this house????
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