Dealing with Deals

Sweet, sweet success. The first big deal. Finally, the analyst will gain some worthwhile experience that he can put on his resume. These include organizing multiple conference calls per day, compiling working group lists[1], organizing datasites and bank meetings.
Oh there goes the MD again...HIS client and HIS needs. His newly acquired title as Dealmaker has increased email traffic at least tenfold. Mostly due to his paranoia of losing his new title. Especially if he is working with another bank. He is convinced of treachery because that is exactly what he is trying to do to the other bank. In an effort to strengthen his own position, he will make many personal calls to the CFO/CEO and take stabs at the other bank, trying to fault them on anything he can find. He will make his own analyst prepare many ‘secret’ reports to send the company in addition to those sent jointly by the two banks together. The other bank catches on and begins to do the same. From then on, the CEO/CFOs get bombarded by the hour, both sides trying to win their approval.


MD: Has the working group list gone out yet?
Analyst: Not yet, just waiting for the lawyers contacts
MD: Well, it NEEDS to go out today
Analyst: Okay, I will send it out as soon as I receive their contacts
MD: I need to see it first

The analyst then makes a series of frantic phone calls to the law firm asking the secretaries for the contact information required.

Analyst: MD, Attached you will find the complete working group list, ready for dissemination. Please advise if you would like me to send it out.

It is now past 5pm and the MD is nowhere to be found. The working group list will not be sent out today and it is the analyst's corpse that will be found under a bus. During the day, the MD will often give the analyst extensive to-do lists. The day is actually spent on conference calls where the analyst must take notes. At 5 pm, the analyst will begin his second consecutive work day. At around 8 pm, he will be reprimanded by the MD for not having completed the extensive to-do list.

Four weeks later, the deal falls through. Disappointed? Frustrated? Relieved?

[1] A list of every single person working on a deal and their contact information. This includes law firms, assistants, home phone numbers and all sorts of data that is a pain to retrieve. Working group lists take hours to compile and often end up having more than 100 names and contacts in them, most of which will never be used.