One night in printing hell....

Dear In house Printing lady

Would it be possible to have the books printed if we send the draft tonight, maybe 7pm?

Thanks

Analyst

[Code for…I am stalling you…please put the pressure on Associate so I can finally go home]

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Dear Analyst,

Our best option is to get it to the printers tonight. We have spoken to them and as long as we have it by 6:45 tonight they will print it. I feel we should really target this time or we risk a lot of other complications.

Please let us know if this works.

Thanks,
In house Printing Guy

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Dear Associate,

Do you think this is possible?

Analyst

[Code for…Don’t f+ck me over b+tch]

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Analyst,

I don't think it will be ready by then.
There are no printers that can do it later? What about (Major Printing House)?
Thanks, Associate

[Code for…I have a sick need to continue to edit this…back off…I paid my dues as an analyst]

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Meanwhile,

“Dear Analyst,

I have not worked with this in house printer guy before, but do you think they can handle this?

I really prefer a professional printer.

Thanks, Associate”

{Code for…Professional printers charge so much more…it must be better…I cant be one of the ‘others’…just cant…}

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Dear Associate,

I have called every printing place in (insert City). No one will do it on such short notice.

Thanks, Analyst

{It is now way past the deadline for the in house printers….and the Associate continues to make things worse}

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Dear In house printer guy,

Don't you guys have a 24-hour printer that you use?

Thanks, Associate

{Code for…let me try and indirectly insult you…

The analyst is close to suicide…the hours of flirting with the Printer guy have now gone to waste.}

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Not so dear Associate,

We unfortunately do not. We have a good printer in the office that we typically use.

Please keep on posted on timing.

Thanks, In house printing guy

In the end, the books are printing first thing in the morning, giving the analysts plenty of time to process more edits throughout the night and be stressed out all through the morning.