Impulsiveness

The major perk about being a banker at 22 is that all of a sudden you are blessed with more money than you can handle. The downside is that you have no time to spend it. Combine these two forces – lots of money and little time – and you no longer have the patience to make financially responsible decisions about anything, it’s just not worth your while. Analysts learn to adapt accordingly. A good rule of thumb to follow is the more expensive the better and 2 is usually better than 1, 3 is better than 2 etc…

About six months in, armed with bitterness way ahead of their time, analysts adopt the philosophy that since they suffer so much while at work, they deserve to have what they want, when they want while outside of work. Wasting time mulling over decisions is something they have no interest in doing. This thinking leads to many impulsive decisions, some good, most bad.


This is what I’ve seen analysts do:

• One 3rd year analyst bought a house two hours out of the city a day after he visited it for the first time, before applying for a mortgage which he was later denied
• One Associate would break up with his girlfriend and get back together with her on a weekly basis, depending on his mood. Usually if one of the hotter banker groupies would flirt with him, he’d feel good about himself and break up with her, only to come crawling back each time his insecurities would resurface – why she stayed with him is a mystery
• One analyst bought $2,000 kittens over the weekend without caring that both his roommate and his girlfriend were allergic to them – he later had to give them away to a family of religious fanatics he met over the internet
• Another analyst adopted two kittens from another analyst, only to give them back after a day because they couldnt handle the responsibility
• Another analyst bought $25,000 worth of RIM stock on margin because he had no money left in his account – needless to say he won’t be quitting for a while
• Another analyst purchased an apartment he could not afford, made friends he could not keep up with ($800 a night tab per person to go clubbing), and quickly dug himself into a huge hole of credit card debt and repossessions
• Another analyst ordered a newborn puppy off the internet in an attempt to get his ex girlfriend to take him back – she didn’t of course, and he soon realized that puppies need constant attention upon being born and are not well suited to living in 500sq ft apartments.
  
  
  The biggest problem analysts face upon reentering the real world post-banking is that they no longer have any restraint, judgment, or self discipline, often prone to hissy fits and emotional tantrums when they do not have their way.