At the analyst stage we still have personalities, rigid as they may be.
1. Superstar analysts: If the jocks from high school who once tortured you now envy you, then you are a superstar analyst. Those painstaking lunches you spent alone have finally paid off. I mean aren't you relieved to have an excuse not to go out on the weekends? Don't worry, keep working hard. Take on ALL the tasks and always suggest additional, more complex, while never more revealing, analyses. The prom queen and packed garage are so close. It won’t matter that you don't have any hair left. Optimism is all you can afford right now.
2. Morale Booster: If you are female and you hear the boys giggling a lot, then this is you. Our apologies on their behalf if you are actually reasonably intelligent. Clearly you got through the rigorous screening process. But you were hired to prevent the Pit from erupting into revolt. You are the only female interaction they will have in the week except Thursday nights at the strip clubs. And yes...they do have a pool going on as to who will be the first through your front door. Try and pass off as much work as you can onto them, you might as well. In fact start a few rumours about your interoffice romances. It will only give them hope.
3. Golden Boy: If your lineage is made up of a long and pristine line of Bankers, then this is you. Banking is your Birthright. You make statements such as 'I don’t need money to be happy, I’d be happy with a job that paid me just 1 million a year.’ You are in debt from your extravagant lifestyle. You cannot be seen reading this blasphemous blog. It is treason of the highest order - off with your head and to the gutter with your Pradas.
4. The Second Year Analyst: Just read the whole blog again. This is you. Best if you just continue thinking of methods to exact revenge from the Institution. One more bonus baby...one more bonus. Please see the posting on Associate and promise yourself not to succumb.
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