Training is a boring boozy party. Take heed newbies. You must outshine all the other newbies. The Main event you must ace is the Senior Social Event. For your convenience, we have put together a list of tips for you:
1) All Trainees must doll up in their very best. Try and keep your mouth closed at the sight of the colossal mansion. This was created with the blood, sweat and tears of many. (Do dream of life on the fast lane...it will keep you going for two years)
2) Read all our posts on Bankerisms thoroughly. You MUST internalize these - your survival depends on it. These are your tools. Have contests with your fellow trainees on how many you can use in a minute long conversation. You must speak the Language of Success. They won't stand for the gibberish you learnt in your Elitist B-School.
3) Learn the art of Schmoozing. (Yes, I know Schmooze is a bar in Toronto. Do NOT behave like you would there.) There is an art to targeting the appropriate Senior. They are all going to look the same. If you pick someone too senior, you might be overshadowed by the many other lemmings also scrambling to get some face time in with them. If you pick someone who’s not important, that’s 40 minutes you’ll never get back.
Good Luck
‘You won’t have time for friends, family and clients, so make friends with your clients and hope your family is understanding’ – Actual quote, CEO of the Institution
1) All Trainees must doll up in their very best. Try and keep your mouth closed at the sight of the colossal mansion. This was created with the blood, sweat and tears of many. (Do dream of life on the fast lane...it will keep you going for two years)
2) Read all our posts on Bankerisms thoroughly. You MUST internalize these - your survival depends on it. These are your tools. Have contests with your fellow trainees on how many you can use in a minute long conversation. You must speak the Language of Success. They won't stand for the gibberish you learnt in your Elitist B-School.
3) Learn the art of Schmoozing. (Yes, I know Schmooze is a bar in Toronto. Do NOT behave like you would there.) There is an art to targeting the appropriate Senior. They are all going to look the same. If you pick someone too senior, you might be overshadowed by the many other lemmings also scrambling to get some face time in with them. If you pick someone who’s not important, that’s 40 minutes you’ll never get back.
Good Luck
‘You won’t have time for friends, family and clients, so make friends with your clients and hope your family is understanding’ – Actual quote, CEO of the Institution
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