Simon needs a Hug..gie

Dear Diary,

I was having another nightmare about him.

It feels like just yesterday I was waiting for the elevator, back facing the north corridor going on and on about my weekend and trying to get her attention. And there he was. The Global Head of Investment Banking. I had heard of the Orange Giant before but I had never seen him in person. The corridor was enveloped in a massive shadow. I stopped talking and turned to see him, the oompaloompa (1) on growth hormones.

Oh diary, his mere presence was sufficient to take analysts, such as myself, teetering on the brink of death and jolt them to life with nothing more than an accusing glance.

His wheeling and dealing is so legendary. I tried to locate him during that Senior BBQ during training. But that was hopeless. I just wanted to let him know how I spent weeks memorizing the details of all his deals.

I don’t need to tell you how the elevator conversation went, as it didn’t, I shut my mouth, paralysed by fear. He refused to make eye contact with me, partly on account of the enormous amount of effort required to turn his gigantic head, and partly because acknowledging anyone MD and below is beneath him. In banking, its not who you whore, it’s who you ignore.

Wow. I am so awestruck by his greatness.

Love,

Simon

(1) Little orange midget helpers from Willy wonka’s chocolate factory.