Industry Groups

The members of industry groups make themselves so unavailable, that they get by on not doing any work. They have no direct client interaction and serve mainly to support the other groups with their ‘expertise’ on a certain industry. Their ‘expertise’ is comprised of research reports that they copy and paste into slides and try to pass off as their own. Most of the other groups have resorted to doing the work themselves and dismissing the industry groups entirely.
This group is headed by the the screeching walrus and the bushy eyebrowed aristocrat.

The Screeching Walrus is plagued by an extreme case of paranoia, this MD has been at the firm one of the longest and still has the worst case of job insecurity. He is constantly on the defensive, resulting in high pitched squeals at any objections to his views. He loves to eat hot tamales[1]. He is very vocal about his anger when there are none left. Most amusing is ability to yell at his wife for hours each day about what she’s making for dinner that night, while being unable to raise his voice above a whisper when it comes to his daughter who just crashed his Beamer (for the third time). Always demands an aisle seat on the plane because of his generous proportions, and spends most of his days worrying about people who might be conspiring against him within the bank.

The Bushy eye browed Aristocrat, on the other hand speaks in an upper crust English accent but has the foulest mouth in the firm. Insults anything that moves. Rumored to have called the coffee machine the C word on several occasions. People are genuinely afraid of him. Beware if you answer the phone and hear a “Yeaaaaaa haiii”

[1] Hot tamales: A type of jujube that this 50+ banker can’t live without. His group has a fishbowl full of candy, which he empties by the handfuls. He then proceeds to wave the fishbowl in the air and yell: “Simon, did you finish all the candy? Who finished all the candy? Is someone going downstairs to get more tamales”